You know you are addicted to the internet when...

You find yourself typing 'com' after every period when using a word processor.com

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

Your start introducing yourself as 'John at I-I-Net dot com.'

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their name.

You can't call your mother - she doesn't have a modem.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You laugh at people with 2400 modems.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You refer to going to the bathroom as [downloading].

You tell the cab driver you live at: http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

Your spouse makes a new rule: 'The computer cannot come to bed.'

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-).

You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.

Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat..."